watched Shawshank Redemption tonight and finished Heretics. fitting I think. the movie has been added to my list of really good movies to possibly add to my collection one day.--lots of good quotes from both, especially about hope. i think all my thoughts have flown the coop, so maybe when they return because they're hungry, i'll try posting again a later time.

oh wait, here a few are:

Chesterton would be the man to study for that Honors Comp 2 class. . .not Da Vinci.
Chesterton talks a lot in the last chapter about dogma and definite opinions. It makes me think and reflect a lot on my own philosophy and how definite it is, or is it more of the fleeting type? I tend to add lots of qualifiers to my opinions, in fact, I tend to have lots of double-sided coins of opinions it seems.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 11:22 PM 

 

   "The thing which is really undemocratic and unfraternal is to say, as so many modern humanitarians say, 'Of course one must make allowances for those on a lower plane'." --G.K. Chesterton, Heretics

as soon as i read that I thought immediately, actually secondly, of affirmative action and discussions related to that over the last few months I've had in class or work and such. As many have said and pointed out, all men ARE equal. are we saying that we believe this is we must make "equal opportunitiy". The opportunity should not be given to people who are of a different color, a different gender. the opportunities should be given to those of lower incomes--this is what they are trying to help is it not? They are trying to help people who haven't had the opportunities that upper class kids have--educational resources, a comfortable life growing up.

I really should work on my thoughts a little bit more. Leave a comment and let me know what you think when you read the Chesterton quote.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 10:31 PM 

 

   Scary thoughts:

Two years from today, right now, I will be getting prepared to teach. I will be getting a classroom ready and lesson plans. It'd be even scarier to imagine the five years from today point. So I won't.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 4:07 PM 

 

   
You are "Welcome to the Caribbean, love."
You're more than a little world-weary, but also
intelligent and you keep your head when things
get dodgy. You're everybody's favorite
drinking buddy, but your stubbornness does get
in the way sometimes.


Which one of Captain Jack Sparrow's bizarre sayings from Pirates of the Caribbean are you?
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       <"Learning Teacher"> 9:55 AM 

 

   wow. my computer has been running for over two weeks. i think this is a record. and it's done quite well (hoping i haven't just jinxed myself...)

       <"Learning Teacher"> 6:56 PM 

 

   this is really good! It's a series of musical reviews on artists and songs out in the secular realm whose lyrics offer glimpses of God and possible spiritual themes. I recommend reading through all three series (links for the first two are at the bottom) I found the link from a connection of links that I was browsing from blog to blog. You should try it sometime--it's lots of fun, especially from the Cynic's page or The Elfin Ethicist's.

to let ya'll know out there. . .i am now making a trip up to Colorado next week for a little vacation and to pick up a car from my parents. more details on that later, maybe when it happens :-) I'm actually start to look forward to it as a vacation. especially since a friend will be going up with me this time to help drive back down and i'll get to show the friend around the infamous lake city.

also, for ye summer LU residents out there, word at phys plant is that the dorms but be ready before Aug 10, meaning scheduled move-in for summer people's from apts to fall housing is Aug 10. Let's see how long it takes them to notify us summer residents. . .

cleaning at the MIR house has been interesting as Linz and I have had fun discussing the layout and furniture--what which we like and don't like and what we would like in our own dream homes one day. there's a really comfy loveseat thing that would be perfect for one person to lounge in with a book.

and finally, i recommend the starbucks java chip ice cream if you like coffee, chocolate, ice cream. it's rich, creamy, gives one that caffeine buzz for a little bit, downright delicious, and a perfect treat for oneself after a long hard day at work. i'm surprised it's lasted more than three days for me. (this is a good thing though!)

       <"Learning Teacher"> 6:09 PM 

 

   hmm. i forgot to save the link on the banana thief story i found during lunch today. oh well, you can find it in the oddly enough section of yahoo news. (oh, i remembered what happened. . .IE froze and crashed)

various thoughts:
*a quart of starbucks Java Chip ice cream from wal-mart costs less than a grande mocha from Starbucks.
*having fun with a friend dancing to music one generally does not like makes the music easier to bear, and makes work a little more fun and go faster.
*dirt gets deeply embedded into things when one doesn't clean very often
*going to Colorado, something that I generally don't look forward to, with a friend makes going to Colorado seem like a whole lot more fun . . .okay so it helps that I'm also picking up a better car
*only 6 more work days left!
*what was that other thought?
*oh well. can always post again.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 5:07 PM 

 

   Coincidentally enough, Bible Study tonight was another part in a series they've been doing on Worship. The gist was that we are to continually worship, in EVERYTHING that we do. Do everything for him. and we were introduced to a steven curtis chapman song which was perfect for the night:

"Moment Made for Worshipping"

6:30 Monday morning
I'm here hiding in my bed
A song plays on my alarm clock
As I cover up my head
And somewhere in the distance
I remember yesterday
Singing "Hallelujah"
Full of wonder, awe and grace
But now I'm just wondering
Why I don't feel anything
At all

This is a moment made for worshipping
Cause this is a moment I'm alive
And this is a moment I was made to sing
A song of living sacrifice
For every moment that I live and breathe
This is a moment made for worshipping

When I'm praying with my children
As they're running off to school
When I kiss my wife good morning
Just to say I still love you
When I'm feeling loved and happy
When I'm feeling all alone
When I'm failing to remember
All the love that I've been shown
Every single beat of my heart
Is another new place to start
To know

This is a moment made for worshipping
Cause this is a moment I'm alive
And this is a moment I was made to sing
A song of living sacrifice
For every moment that I live and breathe
This is a moment made for worshipping

Every single beat of my heart
Is another new place to start
Right now

This is a moment made for worshipping
Cause this is a moment I'm alive
And this is a moment I was made to sing
A song of living sacrifice
For every moment that I live and breathe
This is a moment made for worshipping

From the rising of the sun
To the setting the sun
The name of the Lord is worthy to be praised

methinks it might be good to wake up to. I was faced with many thoughts. . .lots of little conviction thoughts regarding speech, attitude, those things that make us human. . . *smile* i just remembered some stuff John Fischer said about listening to rock music on the *gasp* secular station and how he realized he could still have fun to it.

my brain is fried. so i'll post again later. i've probably been too long-winded today anyways.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 11:36 PM 

 

   Church was fairly good yesterday as Dr. Watson spoke again on "the rest of the story" after the feeding of the five thousand. The basic gist was a warning of three things (ignorance, incongruilty (sp?), and incapacity) that can cause us to miss the point behind what God is doing in our lives or elsewhere. Then I got back and made myself productive for a little while, chatted with friends, and took a nap before making dinner for myself and the guys (dunny, gecko, damian) who aren't off and about. It felt good to have a real-cooked meal and i think I enjoyed more feeding the guys who are always appreciative of food. To continue on in my busy day I went to Starbucks and did some more tutoring which was made a wee hard because of an obnoxious group of people who were loud and annoying. It was oh so wonderful when they left. Tutoring has been going fairly well. It always helps when someone wants to learn and works at it. The person I am helping is in the adult program here at LU and as I was driving back last night, I realized that teaching adults might be something I'd like to do later in life.

and then it was today. monday. which is over. nine more days of work left. we FINALLY finished scrubbing the floors in Thomas, all that's left is sealing and waxing. and we should be moving to Trinity (home!) in the next day or two. and after tonight, i should have some free nights to myself to read (i still have heretics to finish and many others to start) and relax.

i sit here and begin to reflect on the coming year, and just a wondering at next year. my last two years. I think this whole only two years bit is really starting to sink in and it suddenly doesn't seem so long. (long enough though) I really don't know what to expect in the next two years. Maybe I've finally learned that expectations and plans generally fall. My first year, I expected many different things, and as I think I have discussed before, everything really fell through except for a plan to learn how to teach math to high-schoolers. I made many mistakes, and did a whole lot of growing-up. and everything i thought I had wanted and would happen turned out to be what I didn't need. In fact, God opened up doors that I never dreamed of, introduced me to people and really turned my life around. This last year has been a maturing year, and it was far better than my first year. The friendships I developed still exist and continue to grow and deepen compared to my first year where it seems many of the friendships I had only lasted a few months (except for a very special few. . .i love you lily) The people who I made acquaintance of though I got to know a whole lot better this last year--especially some of the gals on the floor. I really didn't know them all that well as I do now, and the ache of missing them this summer was much deeper than last summer. and this summer is another prime example of me expecting things to go one way, and things being totally different but yet totally awesome too (excepting i would say this whole job bit.) but in relation to the job, i will say that i have learned a lot and deepened my friendship with lindsay, and have developed a whole new perspective on what goes on behind the scenes, and a look at the work world and such. I have felt a lot better this summer health-wise, even as the doctor told me I needed a pacemaker. and there are a few other wonderful things that God surprised me with but would take a whole lot more explanation and shall be mentioned another day. I guess this summer has been one of new perspectives and God taking me places and providing for me every step of the way as I receive a paycheck and than turn around use most of it up writing checks to pay medical bills. But I got my account statement from school for this year and I'll have more excess loan money than I have ever had. Granted it's because my loans increased with junior status, but the money will be put to good use for said medical bills and some other expenses that i normally would have used summer earnings on (like textbooks and new shoes)

I guess a lot of this comes from the reflection that I have a whole lot of friends. more than I really deserve. It seems this topic of what we deserve and don't deserve when it comes to people in our lives keeps coming up in conversations with quite a few friends. as I told one friend, it's an example of God's grace in our lives. Maybe we don't deserve the friends we have in our lives, but we don't deserve anything we do have from him--a bed to sleep in and food to eat, each breath and beat of the heart.

one final thought for the day that goes back a little bit to what i said last sunday. I was singing in church yesterday and thinking about how i really wished there were a little more mix--one or two hymns and than remembering that ya know, we shouldn't let our preferences get in the way of worshipping God. Worship is about the attitude of the heart, not the kind of song we sing to him. In fact, we worship God with more than just singing, but with praying, with living. I'll be the first to admit that I myself am not the best at this by any means. I let so many distractions get in the way, in fact i get distracted by the fact that realization that I am being distracted. (vicious circles!)

maybe i'm just inspired by my various blogging friends who post and comment on more than what is going on in their lives. (too lazy to add links)

anyways, God bless and have a lovely evening.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 6:11 PM 

 

   Well there isn't much to say. I had something that I wanted to mention, but I'm so tired that I can't remember. and it's not even 11 pm. oh yeah. now i remember.

So last night I tutored and than came back and made cookies, which came out really really well. and there are still a few left. . probably because I don't have all my favorite friends back yet to lay claim to them :-) I'll make more when ya'll are back. I really just enjoyed chilling out around the apartment since all the girls were out. I found out I'll be doing the chaplaincy on my own this year. Originally, the plan was to share it. I know it's for the best though and God has been cool in that I have an idea of a theme to kind of run with. Prayers are appreciated.

My friend Cara came into town so after more tutoring this morning, I hung out with her, Al, and Brenton and Cara and I also put in an hour of babysitting. It was easy. . .only three kids who were able to amuse themselves. Than we came back and watched Equilibrium. It was good. Some sweet gun-action, thought-provoking. It really gave me some thoughts on life without feeling, and how it really isn't possible. It was also neat to catch some of the small details (I picked on one thing that Al, who has seen it five times, didn't catch)

It's been a pretty good weekend overall. I'm hoping to get some more rest in tomorrow. I hope I make it through these last two weeks of work. Healthwise, I've really been feeling pretty good other than being worn out. I'm thinking, that although it would be nice to have a better-running car, I'm not sure I really want to put a trip to and from Colorado in between finishing work and Impact. I have little things that I really need to get done anyways, like moving back into ELH.

just a little bit longer and i'm gong to bed. . . .

       <"Learning Teacher"> 10:41 PM 

 

   
Doh, how did you know?
Guess I better get out of here before they find
out...


Why is the rum gone?
brought to you by Quizilla

       <"Learning Teacher"> 10:25 PM 

 

   Because it seems I've probably been keeping myself a little too busy over the last few days, I'm taking the afternoon off work. I picked up another short-term but time-intensive tutoring job to help someone who is finishing up the adult algebra class. So alas, I haven't been able to make the cookies I've been meaning to make. But I received some from my wonderful, beautiful, fabulous, ... roommate Lily. I'm hoping to get to them, along with those lonely books of mine, next week after Monday. Things are going to start getting really quiet around the apartment as each of the girls takes off for some vacation time, I think at one-week intervals. Things have gone so much better than I could ever have hoped living with these girls this summer. Admittedly, I was a little worried, especially after a tense Spring Break with Lindsay (who has been my roommate.) If any thing, I've gotten a little closer to her this summer and Amanda too. The summer has been enlightening on my relationships with many people in lots of different respects. The school year ended with deeper relationships than I had had last year. and those ties have not been broken over these last few months. For this, I am thankful to God. I am also thankful that I am finally learning that I don't have to fight things alone, on my own. I know that I always have God to fight them with, but he also places people in our lives to help us through the dark times. It is foolish for me to cover up when i am feeling down or having a bad day. sometimes i do just because I see the others having a great time and I don't want to take that from them. But then, I guess if I would quit having a good time (because one can always go back to having fun) to help a friend out in need of a shoulder to cry on or just a listening ear, than I should let my friends who are willing be there to do the same. (*pauses to reflect that I just learned something else*)

oh yeah, i just looked at my post from yesterday and see that I need to talk about the amusing pieces of yesterday morning. Ever have one of those days where little things keep seeming to go wrong, but you still ahve to laugh because no serious damage is done? That was yesterday for our crew. First, Lindsay and i were burnishing the floors in Thomas. I was working down one side and she the other. I came upon a suite that was locked and needed the keys so i went down to see if Lindsay had the keys. I walked into the room she was working in and said "Hey Lindsay, do you have the keys". She apparently didn't hear me because she jumped and screamed. After composing ourselves again from laughter, she told me that she was going to have to change machines because she accidentally ran over a door stop that was implanted in the floor and now hers was growling. so i trekked back down to where I had left off. (This is all around 830 in the morning) I was wrapping up the burnishing in my last room and needing to get in a closet and get the cord out of the way, so i held the machine going with one arm and kicked the cord and used my arm to open the closet door at the same time. apparently, the machine still ran into the cord and got a little thrown off and I lost control so I let go. but the cord had gotten lodged underneath the handles that we hold to keep the machine going so it kept going and tried to burnish my feet. There are some cleaned marks on my very dirty shoes. Come 930 we went to break and than picked back up to finish the floor. I finished my rooms before Lindsay so I went into the lounge to sit because she wasn't too far behind. She comes and gets me and asks me something about a burned smell. I than follow her to one of the rooms which has a stench of what smells like burned popcorn. A chair had been left in the room and Lindsay decided that she could probably push it out of the way with the burnisher. Well, it instead left a burned indent into one of the bottom edges. That was the morning. Things were uneventful throughout the afternoon until we came back this morning and heard an awful noise. We though it was still the alarm system having issues but then we walked into the hallway and I started to think "that sounds an awful lot like the sound from the shower when the water on, but not running." (Our water source has been the shower with a removable head in which you can shut the water flow on and off without turning the water off. I than wonder out loud "Did we forget to turn the water off last night?" Lindsay and I look at each other and Mrs. jacquie starts thinking. We had left the water off and the pressure had built up. No serious damage, although the diverter valve was messed up we found out a little later after calling the plumber and telling him that the shower wouldn't work. . .the water ran from the tub faucet but we couldn't get it to come out of the shower again. So that's the amusement of yesterday.

I realized once again today how frustrated I get when I hear people ranting about ways of doing things that vary with each person, such as specifics (age leaving home alone, schooling, working motherhood and such) when it comes to raising kids. As i listened to Lindsay and Lisl discuss these, with their normal tones of voices when it comes to something they have strong opinions on, I realized a few things. First, there's a whole lot to being a mother, even a stay-at-home one. One thing they had discussed was getting time to self, leaving kids home alone, taking them grocercy shopping, getting other things done like making dinner. I really took mymother for granted when I was little. I don't remember a whole lot of what she did during the day and what I did during the day before starting school. But I do know we were expected to help out with what we could and my older siblings were expected to keep an eye on us when mom and dad couldn't be there. My sister was bitter about a lot of those times for quite awhile, especially the summer she stayed with us every day all day long because Mom had to work. But they started leaving my younger brother and I home by ourselves by the time I was 9 or 10 I think. We lived in a good neighborhood and knew what numbers to call and such. We were relatively safe and could take care of ourselves. Lisl was talking about how her parents won't leave her fourteen year old sister home alone by herself and they were both saying this is restrictive. It is in a way, but than, I don't really blame them when I think about how much better and safer I would have felt those many summers I was alone. By the time I was 12, my younger brother was old enough to go help my dad out with his construction or plumbing work and my sister had a job and so did older brother. I took care of the house and read many many books. I also went to camp for a week or so and occasionally went to wokr with my mom--early days of wandering around LU and playing on the computers. I'm glad though that I'm seeking a career in which I can be at home with my kids when they aren't in school most of the time. Call me a traitor to my gender in a way, but I will readily admit that I would feel differently about leaving a teenage son home alone versus a teenage daughter. and for as much as you can teach your kids and what not, there are always things they still won't know and understand about people, especially if they've been raised with a relatively good life. I knew not to open the doors to strangers and such, and my parents wouldn't let me leave the house to go for a walk around the neighborhood by myself (although sometimes they did when I took the dog). One can only protect their kids so much I know, and one has to let them out into the world. My parents did a good job of raising us judging by how we've turned out and all, and I know that there are some things that they would have done differently if circumstances had allowed

okay, i'm rambled on long enough now. I still have more thoughts to try to gather together on the whole cultural competency bit after listening the gals and Mrs Jacquie discuss how the workshop on said issue went. i know some of you might be a little intrigued by some of it.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 1:10 PM 

 

   odd musing while working: God takes your dreams and does things with them that you never would have dreamed of.

and a thought from Lindsay, it's kind of depressing that tomorrow never really comes and really, the future is all theory until you get there. but does one ever get to the future? (last thot from me) .

*makes note to self to write about the amusing points of the day with being attacked by the machine and scaring Lindsay.*

       <"Learning Teacher"> 9:54 AM 

 

   so, nearing the end of the work day, i was pausing to take a breather and musing on this cleaning job of mine. and I've decided, that after this, taking care of a house and having only to clean floors that my dear family travel on and having a clean house for my friends to visit, is enough for me. This whole "professional", commercial cleaning bit. blah. i'm counting down the days. . . .

the job kills me on work ethic and work logic too. well, i guess my logic probably just differs from everyone elses. mostly because I'm not one who is given to slacking. it also sucks to be a lowly student worker who is seen as incompetent in a lot of ways. Sometimes it's probably my just due, because I'll catch myself talking to a coworker and being bossy. I realize that every once in awhile I might see someone as slightly less thorough, or "with it" than myself. It's a bad tendency of mine to be bossy and it's gotten me into trouble with family and friends. I constantly remind myself that I go off into la la land on my own every once in awhile and I make some pretty stupid mistakes too or miss something. It's usually not that hard to be reminded of this :-)

well i'm either going to go keep my hands busy now with something else or let my eyes get some rest. Ttyl!

       <"Learning Teacher"> 5:18 PM 

 

   another day gone by. work was relatively uneventful, except for one amusing incident that I really can't do justice on this blog. It's good to have amusement though, because work gets frustrating at times. I'm one who likes to keep a steady pace and keep going, get things done. (cuz once I stop, i tend to stop altogether). I really genereally don't like sitting down on the job for long bouts of time waiting. . .our group is being slowed down by the slackers ahead of us. oh well, I'm done altogether there on Aug 8. two and a half weeks!

I've enjoyed doing things with the girls these last few days. tonight, i took a two hour nap after work, which did wonders to help me feel better. than amanda and i enjoyed the quiet and did some crafty things. After she ate, We went to wal-mart and starbucks. I splurged a little at wal-mart--on top of food to last me hopefully until we move, i got a c.d. (the new 3 doors down) and a few clothes. . .another "teacher" outfit, that isn't really teacherish but will work. I'm enjoying the c.d. greatly and after trying on my new outfit for the girls, while we were doing facial masks and such, I was happy with that purchase too. I like being happy with my purchases. the c.d. will be a great benefit for driving too.

it was a good evening, for which i am grateful. now if someone could tell me how to fix my blog so that it doesn't stop in the middle of posts at the bottom, i'd be grateful. as i say, it's fine when i use Mozilla, but doesn't work for me in IE.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 11:30 PM 

 

   A Review on Legally Blonde 2

The first one was far better and I wouldn't own this one in a movie collection myself. It had some good points to it such as a realistic portrayal, or at least a stereotypical portrayal of Washington politics, and one good quote which made me think of the Cynic's post on ethics and scruples. (Hey, the little hyperlink button is gone. . ., effort. . .anyways) The quote was something to the effect of (in a sarcastic laughing tone) "You think that what is right and the law are the same thing?" It also had some good tosses of caring, being involved in your country and the politics and such. It also had some scarring points with the push on gays (there were gay animals. . . ), animal rights, anti-tax cut on the wealthy and an interesting "cheer" to grab attention of politicians. It had way too much pink. The contrast of the blonde, happy, fluffy, idealistic, cheerleader with well, the all black-suited politicans and their sarcastic, insulting manner was good. I can see Wilson and Scholl both cringing and ripping the movie to shreds. At any rate, while I would own the first Legally Blonde, I wouldn't own this one.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 10:19 PM 

 

   I hope this blog starts to show up again in IE. Netscape Navigator brings it up fine.

A summary I have today: I really dislike, hate almost, John Thomas Hall. I hate the furniture, the i.d. locks, the floors, the walls, the doors that don't stay open on their own, the fire alarms. This hatred comes after living there for a month and than after being on the crew that has been scrubbing the place down. Not being able to get into the building to work is annoying and moving furniture makes me feel quite buff.

I'm glad I only have three weeks of work left. They feel like they are going to be a long three weeks though. What's going to be weird is in two weeks I'll probably either a. have the apartment mostly to myself, or only have one other person around. The girls are all going to be off to places across the country. I guess it'll give me some good time to get things ready for the year--like with school stuffs like being a chaplain, the coffee cart, and my other random projects with honors and secret sisters/guardian angels.

Well I'm being paged to dinner and than it's off to the movies with the girls. But lo, I'll be back soon. Ttyl!

       <"Learning Teacher"> 6:04 PM 

 

   so i'm slowly figuring this out. still need to play with the sidebar now, but i'm getting there. let me know what you think (if enetation would just behave!)

       <"Learning Teacher"> 11:04 PM 

 

   One of the ponderings I have been having over the last few months has been over differences between Christians over such matters as spiritual disciplines and worship, differences in beliefs over doctrines such as the Trinity, predestination, and such. There's a lot to ponder. Some people act as if people who disagree or have different perspectives than themselves are less Christian or not really Christian.

I'm more of an "agree to disagree" person. People are going to have different opinions, so let them have them and there is no human on earth who knows the entire truth of a matter.

Yet, some of these issues do matter as they relate to how one believes in God. What issues really do matter, such as the salvation? How do we handle the gray areas that we don't seem to have any clear-cut answers on?

This all was spurred on by the sermon in church today in which the speaker mentioned tithing. He said that the very first thing to do when one gets a paycheck is write out that 10 percent to the church, that God commands us to give. This is true, but does one have to tithe to the church? I know that myself and some other friends of mine like to justify our giving back to God through other ways, such as mission stuff or maybe helping out a friend. And there's of course everyone's favorite church dispute of music--traditional versus contemporary. Everyone has a different preference, a different style of worshipping God but us being human, we let the personal preferences of self get in the way of the meaning--individually worshipping God, not being worried about what others think or being distracted by one's own opinions on something that really doesn't matter. Granted, I personally think there should be a mix to appeal to as many in a congregation as possible, but some people make too big a deal out of it.

and there there are the spiritual issues, which is a lot harder to deal with. It's easy to say that we should read the Bible and that the answers lie there, but there is so much and so many different interepretations--reader responses, sometimes even when context is taken into account and all that fun stuff.

and spiritual disciplines, such as reading your Bible. Yes, it's important, especially in figuring out where you stand on the various theological issues and drawing closer to God and such. I guess I have problems with the people who make it a big deal, like you're less of a Christian, you're a weaker Christian if you don't read your Bible every day or you might read less. Maybe a lot of this comes from being someone who doesn't do a hot job of spending that time with God by reading His word every day. Oddly, I haven't really wanted to so much in the last month but I am desiring that time again now as I'm yearning to understand some things, and look deeper into things but for the last month it was like I was, well, "burned out" maybe on the Bible. No, not burned out. Just the feeling that whenever I would read I'd get distracted because I'd read it so much and it's stuff I've heard a lot of. Very strange and hard to explain.

Of course, I have to admit one good thing about this whole working at 7 in the morning bit is that I've discovered I like to have a twenty minutes of wake-up, quiet mind time inbetween sleeping and going at what needs to get done. Maybe it's just because my brain has been taking longer to wake up than the rest of me. I'm thinking, hoping that maybe I can work my way into doing some morning devo time. Time when I'm not distracted by friends on IM or wanting to sleep or doing things until the last possible minute.

Well, those are just some ramblings from my mind. I know they might be hard to follow. I think I'm either going to tear myself away from the computer for awhile and browsing--sort of a "window-shopping" you could say online at various things. (I had lots of fun at the Art and Artifact site!)

for now, back to keeping myself amused. . .

       <"Learning Teacher"> 4:36 PM 

 

   as you can see, i'm playing with my template again. I have an html book that i'm going to attempt to use to help me play with this some more, but I'm beginning to think it would be a whole lot easier to have someone sit down with me and help me along. bear patience with me.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 2:43 PM 

 

   Well I thought I was going to be bored tonight but it has turned out to be a good night. I've talked to various friends across the country on phone and IM. I had two delicious movies cooked by the wonderful Amanda. Than I watched a chick flick--A Walk to Remember, with Amanda and we had root beer floats! I've played catch up on various things. That's basically a sum up. Keeping busy keeps me from being bummed about missing people.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:20 AM 

 

   Whew. I made it all forty hours of work this week! Lisl and Lindsay, after leaving me to finish the waxing in the first half of Thomas all afternoon, came around at just the right time and saved me from having to do the last two rooms. With a half hour left to go, I was exhausted and really sick of waxing. Imagine going over a floor four times with wax in over twenty rooms, leaving at least a half hour of dry time between coats. I dislike Thomas Hall much now just because I've spent so much time there in the last week.

It's been a good week though. and I'm enjoying Trigun more and more. It is thought-provoking. Especially with the idea of killing the spider to save the butterfly or letting the spider eat the butterfly, or trying to save both, although the spider will die anyways if it doesn't eat the butterfly. I see the need, the point in killing the spider but I very much wish I could not have to kill either--maybe let the spider have some mosquitoes to eat. Anyways. . . I'm enjoying the series mucho and can't wait to finish it.

I give two thumbs up to Texas Roadhouse for a good meal. I was able to eat there for the first time last time and enjoyed a delicious steak dinner. I have leftovers that I plan on enjoying very soon. and I have a memory to smile at as the waitress mentioned that the vegetables are made from scratch. . .and I wonder how this is done. . .

In other fabulous news Data Structures is over!!!! and I even managed an A in the class after the help of the Cynic and open-book tests. I'm done with computer science for at least the next two years. . . Computers and programming are for other people. Math is my thing. It's nice not to have class anymore because it means I have weekends for more fun stuff again! like reading and bumming and movies and other stuffs. Although I really miss having everyone around. I'm glad I stayed here though because at least I've been able to hang around with some of my LU friends. It just isn't the same around here without everyone else though. I'm missing everyone more and more.

On that note, I'm going to go find something else to do before I get bummed.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 5:58 PM 

 

   After a tediously long day at work--other than getting myself wet yet again from the shower sprayer in the Thomas Hall bathroom on second floor, I had a delightful evening at The Comedy of Errors. It was well worth my $20. After getting used to the costumes, I enjoyed my favorite Shakespeare play and laughed much, and shook my head every time I heard the word "wench." I'd forgotten just how humorous the play was and the actors did a spectacular job making it even funnier.

In other news, I'm tired of working a job I really don't enjoy too much. Yeah, my attitude has a lot to do with it I'm sure, but the job can get boring when you are working by yourself and you do the same thing over and over again. I'm ALMOST ready for classes to start, at least having the schedule again where every day is a little different. It also makes me look forward a little bit to teaching, where I'll have a little more variety and it's something I want to do and hopefully enjoy doing. Enjoying one's job makes a huge difference. I really can't wait to work at the coffee cart again and helping people with their math. Although I've taken on my most challenging tutoring job yet with a guy who has a poor math background and plans on going back to college. We have to start from scratch and I'm basically doing the teaching because he isn't in a class and doesn't have a book. So I actually have to figure out where to go and what to focus on.

well, in six hours i have to wake up and go at another day of work. hopefully enetation will start working again so i can read and leave comments tomorrow.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:32 AM 

 

   I swear I'll try and post some more soon. For now, here's a recount of a few amusing moments of today:

We started the morning off by realizing that we all, by accident, were wearing our gray Mabee 1 shirts. For me, it was the clean dirty one from yesterday. Lindsay--last shirt left in her drawer and for Lisl, the shirt was the first on the pile. First the Lindsay got the afternoon started off on a good foot by having us laughing over the other meaning of "stripper"--of which the last week has meant chemical solution that strips wax off tile floors in Thomas hall. Than, as she was rotoring (super powered scrubbing) an exceptionally dirty room (which happened to be the Cynic's, Geckos, Brit's and Wisher's computer room), she scrubbed a clean white tile smiley face into the dirty brownness of the floor. It was after we were laughing about it that we realized what room it was. After retrieving a camera and taking pictures, I told Lindsay that in honor of our shirts, we should do a question mark in the next room. So we did.

and please, MOP your floors if you live in a dorm with tile floors a coupla times a semester. and especially on a room check-out!

I'll update you on the last couple of days pretty soon. Tomorrow, you might get a review of the Comedy of Errors, which we'll be seeing in Kilgore tomorrow night. My mom promises they put on a really good show with their Shakespeare plays every summer.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 11:57 PM 

 

   
You are Franklin Roosevelt.

Many people look up to you and adore you. Although
you are actually a fairly private person, you
can the life of the party. Some people do not
realize what a shrewd manager you are, able to
compromise and negotiate. You want to help
other people, and are overcoming personal
difficulty to achieve greatness.


What 20th-century Western ruler are you?
brought to you by Quizilla

a productive on all levels saturday. i slept many hours of glorious sleep after going to bed way earlier than normal on a friday night, Gracious, for that matter, earlier than I do on the majority of my nights. I finished cleaning up the coffee cart and worked on my program, with the Cynic's help getting it done for a maximum of 85. I'm settling for less than normal but a. it's computer science b. my grades can average out c. i was tired and it was using a lot of my so called "limited" mental power and d. i wanted to see the pirates movie and we didn't have the time to work out the problems. In short, i really don't care that I can get only a B on this program. The movie was far worth it too.

I hope that Pirates gets some awards. good effects, lots of humor, appeals to a variety of audiences. I do have to say that the ending really didn't seem to fit with the rest of the movie. It was expected, and wanted being an idealist, but it just didn't fit with the theme of the rest of the movie. The movie is worth the while to see.

and of course I enjoyed the beautiful night with a full, bright moon and mostly clear to see the stars, good temp. hmm, i was going to think about adding another math link for the day. but seeing as how i should be going to sleep so that I can a. make it to church and b. pay attention in church, I'll just wrap up and climb into bed.

Gnight and good dreams

       <"Learning Teacher"> 2:32 AM 

 

   THanks to the Brit for this cool link! I'm also considering starting to post a fun math link of the day. maybe I'll start with week. Try this ode.

worked all day. cleaned at the airport. than came and worked on thomas and muttered curses upon RA's who don't make sure guys sweep and mop their rooms. had a lovey dinner with friends at Olive Garden since it was pay day and I in theory have a little money to splurge. programmed a little bit more.

and since i keep falling asleep at times i normally don't sleep, I'm going to bed.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 11:41 PM 

 

   :-) This/ is my kind of museum exhibit. The busy week is almost to an end. ONe more day of working and a program to finish. And than I can get to some of those other things that people are desiring me to put a little effort in.

I don't really have a whole lot to say. I'm getting tired of people bitching which is kind of ironic considering a. i do enough of it myself and b. I'm right now bitching about people bitching.

Well, I'm ready to sleep. 8 hours of work tomorrow. . .it's a long time until 4pm from 7am.

OH yeah. It's nice to have Randy and Cara and Kelly and others in town. and There are going to be a lot of new people next year. Tom 3 is going to be a girls floor while Tom 1 will now be all boys.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:10 AM 

 

   A mostly good day. Finished Trinity this morning and pushed myself a little too hard and didn't drink enough water. I didn't go back to work after lunch. My heart was telling me that I had to stop. and I remembered that I had a D. S. test and no time tonight. So I took the test and took a nap and felt much better for it. Than I went to help a new tutoree with math and got a good dinner out of it and a good time over all. i forgot how much i loved math and explaining it. It was cool coming back because the radio played four good songs in a row. Three were amusing and than one sappy new song. One song was by Blake Shelton--Playboys in the Southwest i think it was called and I think the other might have been Chesney or Paisley. The latter was the sappy one about guys who become fathers. The Shelton song is stuck in my head though. "Hey Romeo, let's go down to Mexico ..." I wished my roomie had been with me for that song. and than i went to an edge meeting and than starbucks and another night of chilling on the porch. We've had gorgeous evenings, humid mornings, and wet/rainy afternoons. What a shame it's so clear when I need to be asleep.

One of the bumming parts of the day--other than seeing the flag at half mast and remembering the two recent LU deaths was being sick this afternoon. It's frustrating not to be able to go as hard--odd I realize. My first year I could pull off days, going hard and taking heavy classload and working without any problems. THis last year I haven't really been able to do that. I have to slow down. The thing is, once I get going, I want to keep going. Especially when I need to work and earn some money. I guess it's also a matter of shame in a way too because other people are pushing harder than I am and are doing fine. I feel so weak. The voice kept reminding me "My grace is sufficient for you..." I'm glad I had a decent evening.

now to try and get some more sleep.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 1:00 AM 

 

   two days out of the week are done. . . .

spent the day cleaning over in trinity. Penn 1 was horrible after those soccer boys. disgusting. But it looks, and smells, and feels much better in there! Bowser came out as we were heading to clock out at 4 and asked if we'd cleaned in there yet. apparently after sweeping up and killing bugs and vacuuming, there were more dead bugs lying around. We put in work orders for an exterminator to go through. oh yeah, the A/C came on half way through the morning. We were much happier.

Working along as I was wiping things down and cleaning sinks, I realized how different my work style is from other people and yet again how I have different perceptions of things, logic even, and how it gets me frustrated and annoyed. But i remind myself of lots of things, like how I'm sure I annoy other peole. I realize I have obsessive compulsive strains when it comes to cleaning. I think a lot of that may come from having to clean motel rooms and cabins for tourists, many of which who were damned picky and stricter than girl RA's & RD on final room check-outs. I also have paranoia about the various germs people can bring in on their feet, from being sick, whatever. So I tend to be more thorough when cleaning. Every last nook and cranny. I have a tendency to pay too much attention to details sometimes. I guess that's good though for certain situations.

and I cleaned the fridge for the coffee cart. I'm going to make sure that it gets cleaned and thawed out well at the end of this coming year. I'm still airing it out and trying to kill mildew. I've almost got it. . . and I worked on my next program. and I helped, or more attempted to help, a friend with some math--partial fractions--in his circuits homework. engineering is not my realm at all. we were really close to getting it figured out but there was some detail I was missing that I think possibly had to do with some of the engineering stuff or I had forgotten with regards to laplace transforms and such. It was humorous though because I couldn't remember how to do simple partial fractions last night (but than I had a migraine last night too) and as I suddenly remembered it all as I was climbing out of bed this morning. Strange I am. well, it is definitely sleep time. more cleaning, more math help (different person), more programming await me on the morrow.

and even if I don't say it or show it quite so well, Even if I do get annoyed with ya or frustrated; or I am clueless or selfish, I appreciate all of you as friends. I'm especially glad that I know all of you in the body of Christ in that if he takes you away, I know I'll see ya again. Our God is awesome. He brought us together and he always provides. Friends are an example of his grace upon us.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:14 AM 

 

   I hate spiders. We've killed four in the last two days in the apartment. These are tiny spiders, these are spiders bigger than a dime. I also hate having to work in a building where the A/C is turned off such that it is warmer inside than it is outside. and I hate headaches. Oh yeah, I'm tired of programming and can't wait to be done with computer science for the rest of this college career.

Alright, enuf whining. I get grouchy when I have a bad headache. It was really overall a good day. I had a lot of good conversations. It's always encouraging to know you're not alone in the random boats of life.

Oh yes, I could rant on the joys of cleaning up after boys in soccer camp. >-o trash. ants. strange substances on the floor. it makes me contemplate if i really want to be a mother and convinces me even more that if/when i do become a mother, my children will learn how to clean up after themselves. It is possible. Yeah, we spent the afternoon picking up and taking out the trash out of trinity after edgers (month old trash. . . ) and sweeping up and killing the living bugs that we saw. We got some good laughs out of the deal. and there were a few mutterings of foul language for various reasons, mostly at the lack of air conditioning.

So I'm being a grouch. I keep being reminded through conversations with friends and reading Chesterton about how much of life is making choices. It also keeps striking me how many imperfections we all have, especially those in myself. But I can't beat myself up because I am a work in progress. Life is thorny. So are rosebushes. *holds self from developing analogy further* For all of the annoyances and thorns, trials, inconveniences, negative whatevers in life there are still the blessing I have that i do not deserve. Each breath. Each friend. My family. A place to stay. Being where I am with school and such. (I'm giving a pep talk to myself. . . ) Yeah. I'm frustrated. I'm tired. I don't feel good. I'm in debt. But I live. I breathe. I eat. I sleep in a warm bed and stay cool most of the time in air conditioning. I can walk. ... I have my friends. I have this opportunity to sit at a computer typing away. I can hear my favorite songs. I have a car that still runs. to sum it all up, I live by the grace of God. You've all heard it. You all know it. But it is so easy to be distracted from this. To be focused on everything we don't like. Yeah, life sucks at times. Life is crazy at times. But as I told a friend today, the craziness is worth it having the friends I do. It might be easier to run away, but I would lose so much more than I would gain. Funny, it works opposite when running to God away from the world. You gain much more than you lose. The paradoxes of life. And even though I grasp this now, I'll probably wake up tomorrow grumbling and groggy that I have to work at 7 in the morning. at least I have a job to go to. I'll grumble my way through the muggy weather and disgusting and repetitive, sometimes boring, tiring job of cleaning out dorms. But at least I am able. I will forget. but at least I have God to remind me and to better improve this human, weak memory of mine. at least I have God watching over me and blessing me. and if I were to die, at least I have a better place to go. Life hurts, but life feels awesome sometimes too. Oh I eagerly await that day that God comes back and reigns forever more. That day of no more pain, no more betrayal, no more anger, no more bitterness, no more hate, no more disrespect ...

Well I've rambled on long enough. I've now encouraged myself to the point that I should go to bed and than wake up and go to work in the morning. It's going to be a long week. I'd really appreciate if you'd keep me in your prayers with stamina to keep going and also some peace and guidance from God regarding those various boats of mine. It's funny how we can be faced with choices and the seeming knowledge that either way you choose, you will be blessed and things will be good. Maybe I just don't know enough but that's what I feel with some of my choices right now. I guess two people who believe a little differently can be faced with the same choice and each go different ways, and each still be blessed. (I think that coffee kicked in . . .)

Gnite all. Happy dreams and blessing bountiful days. Six weeks, six weeks and we shall all be around again Lord-willing.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 11:05 PM 

 

   
Mr. Tim Baker, Biblical Studies Adjunct


Which LeTourneau Professor Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Go figure.

I'm definitely ready for a new template. Maybe I'll put some time into playing with it after data structures is done. two more weeks. . . So I'm back in Longview after a night and day away relaxing with some of my many-number distant family. It went a whole lot better than I expected. It hit me that different parts of the family cross extremes from conservative to a little more liberal, free, lax although all the siblings of my dad excepting his first younger brother are Type A. at least my aunt mellowed out. It was good to chill out though and play with my nephew and just sit back and observe and think. Some of those thoughts will appear in a little bit.

living styles of four in an apartment--I remembered one of the things that I started musing on while working. That for four females, it can be hard to make a go of it in rooming together in a little apartment. Living style differences come out as everyone has their own mad method of "organization" and definitions of "messy" and "clutter" or "homey." I will really enjoy the day that I get to have my own little place and space to do with as I please. And when that Mrs Major becomes fulfilled in the indefinite future, how much does the guy care. . . ? Actually, I welcome comments on that one. I could have just made a very bad generalization. . .

driving. I forgot how much I like high speeds. as when I entered the Interstate coming out of Kilgore and people were going a whole lot faster in both lanes than the speed limit. the right lane was going at my normal cruising speed. I was getting anxious to be off the road so seeing a nice straight shot, I decided not to worry about my gas mileage for those miles and watched my speedometer work it's way to the triple digits. and than that exit appeared oh so quickly and I slowed down for the fun curve and made my way back onto campus.

little kids. I was reminded this weekend of a lot of things regarding kids. First, why I plan on teaching high school. Because eight-year olds . . . .I just don't want to deal with more than four of those at a time. if even that. In fact, I contemplated just how much I would want four kids, at least close in age. Another thought hit me as I sat back and pondered that my two cousins, one who is ten years older and the other seven or eight, each have two kids. each has an eight year old and one has a four year old while the other a three year old. I don't want to deal with kids over the age of seven before I'm thirty as a mom. It's an odd realization I realize, but I think I'd rather do the mom thing through my thirties and early forties. But my cousins have done a really good job with their kids who mostly behave and sometimes listen. It's sad to think about the stress one of them and her kids are facing right now as she and husband (who is twenty years older) are separated. :-(

Those are some of the thoughts that have run through my head in the last day. I'm going to browse around a little bit more and than get some sleep. My brain is tired. That tends to happen after spending a lot of effort driving. programming awaits me tomorrow. fun.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 7:28 PM 

 

   So it's the Fourth. I'm strange I realize but I don't have a whole lot of spirit for celebrating this country. Maybe it's partly due to having two Fourth of July weeks in the last three years in which my family made trips to funerals. The first was after the busy 4th of tourist town and down to Houston for the death of my dad's mom. Last year it was before the 4th on our way to Chicago for the death of my mom's mom. Both were long expected and brought relief. But it's always crazy to have to take time out when you work in a town that makes most of it's money in the summer and a good chunk of that during the fourth of July week. Last year I watched fireworks on our way back from Illinois through the state of Nebraska along I-80. Wasn't expecting to see fireworks because Colorado was under the fire ban.

Okay, that really rambled. back to my original point of not being very patriotic. I recognize the freedoms we have in this country that we wouldn't elsewhere and the hard work and blood that was shed towards gaining those freedoms. I guess I feel maybe that the Fourth has become just another holiday to play and many people have forgotten the reasons behind the holiday. Or maybe I've just been in my own little bubble too long.

So I'm odd.

Fairly soon I hope to be on the road. I'll let ya'll know how that goes. But have a happy and safe Fourth.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 2:08 PM 

 

   I had a good evening after a really long day. Normal work morning getting Tyler's floors finished. Ya know, putting carpet down makes for irritating cleaning later on. But we got them done and now the floors are either finished or in progress of being finished with coats of wax. Took the afternoon off because my sister was going to be in town briefly. So i took the Cynic to get his shot--he did quite well :-) and than picked up my new glasses which make a slight difference--stronger on distance. Heh, much of the difference could be in having new lens that haven't been scratched up. It's new being without the transition lens although I picked up some clip-ons. I definitely prefer the hassle of carrying around clip-ons. Now not to lose them. . . I got back and cleaned the trash out of my car with the help of my watch-thieving friend, the one and same cynic. Now people have places to put their feet again. Than ran to get mail and check student account, discovering I have odd housing charges and a two dollar cleaning charge that I was never told about. I'm not so peeved about the two bucks as I am not being told. Would have been a simple piece of paper. ANyways. Spent some time with my sis and let my bro-in-law sleep while the baby decided not to sleep but instead play. I hope he fell asleep in the car for their sake. And than I cleaned the kitchen and took out the apartment trash. By which point I was getting tired and so tired that I was cranky. I was also annoyed at having one low tire and one flat tire which I took across the street to be aired up. I couldn't be too annoyed though because they patched them up and didn't charge me for a thing. good way to get some business back in the future. . . I made some meatloaf muffins for dinner which turned out pretty decent and watched Trigun for a coupla hours with Stu and Scholl. I'm going to have to continue watching the series. I'd seen a preview in the semester and so I'm a little lost with some of what is going on but have been told that by watching the whole series pieces will fall into place. I ended the evening with the normal bumming and wandering after getting an idea of what awaits me with that next, final (praise God it should be the last for me in my college career) computer program.

and I'm exhausted. even though I get to sleep in tomorrow, I still have that need of sleep and I don't want to open myself up to a relapse in being sick or catching something else. Tomorrow evening I'll head to Whitney Texas for some time with family including sis again. Hopefully relaxing. I have things to do before I aim to leave at 3 though so I have to be up around noonish tomorrow.

Adios amigos.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:51 AM 

 

   so the cynic lucked out today with the shot. good for him. my sis is coming in with her lil family tomorrow so i'll get to see them for a little bit and than again friday night and saturday when i go visit them with my aunt, uncle and cousins. sis already mentioned using me to babysit Caedin while they go and ski :-) it'll be a nice bit of a break this weekend. i hope. i can get tense around sister sometimes and also with this aunt. although things have gotten better since i started college. grew up. and of course i'll get to deal with the normal barrage of questions about my h ealth, school, boys and the like. oh well, se la vi. (sp? disregarding needed accent marks. . .) at least it shows they care and are interested in how i am doing.

just a normal day really. my body seems to like this going to bed before midnight thing so i'm going to be off now. it won't be exactly before midnight but a little after once i brush my teeth and wash my face. sweet dreams all.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 11:59 PM 

 

   This is an article I was reading while waiting to meet with the doctor on Monday. It was the cover story and I found it quite interesting. The first part of the article kept putting me on a defensive mode but it made some good points worth of discussion.

In my own little news, I managed to work full time at phys plant today and put in a day of work at Tyler Hall as we make the floors all pretty only to be mussed up within a few hours of it being opened to residents again. Oh well. It's always intersting to be cleaning on the guys floors and in my friends rooms. It was just strange hosing down the mops and and filling buckets with the hose we brought into the bathroom. Something about holding a hose with warm water and thinking about their infamy for hosing down girls who venture onto the floor.

Well, I've got to drag the cynic to get a shot so I'll get back with ya'll later.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 4:30 PM 

 

   Yeah. it was a long day yesterday. The doctor told me I needed a pacemaker. I told him I'm inclined to wait until I'm feeling really bad compared to the last two good weeks I've had. Then I drove back from Houston. Wasn't too bad of a drive, three and half hours and it would have been a little less had I not taken the long way around Henderson to see if it was faster. and it wasn't. I got back and paid some bill, bought a new pair of glasses and had a follow up with the chiropractor. My neck is almost as good as new. Went to Bible study but it turned out to be not happening as the college and career pastor decided not to come and didn't tell anyone. and one of the guys was rear ended on his way there. His car doesn't have a trunk anymore. Than I bummed around with Josh. I started to feel sick but figured I could make it back. I was wrong. So yes, I got sick and am still feeling a bit under the weather. Meaning I got a sick day from work. I guess this is God's way of making me slow down for a day and giving me a chance too. I'd really wanted to work the camps this week as I was assigned to a music camp. and now I've got these friends whose cars have been broken into--my roommate and fiance had their checkbooks stolen, Sam lost an ash tray, Dunny and his stero along with Jonathan and the latter two have broken windows now. I'm glad there isn't anything worth stealing in my car. I should probably clean out the trash though. Eh. so goes life.

On a positive note I may get to see my sister and her little family this weekend. and I think that the chapter on Paganism in Heretics has been my favorite so far. Chesterton had some great stuff to say on paradox and such and faith, hope, charity and humility. Well, until I have something else interesting to post. . .

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:37 PM