hey, i happened to check my blog on the 1001 view. Oh wait. . .I started at 314. . . .:-p I'm back in town. I'll post more later.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 5:27 PM 

 

   Hey all. I write this from Houston as I'm about to go to yet another doctor's appointment in the morning. Be praying about that and the drive back since I'm coming back from Houston by myself in my car. My older brother Eric is going to stay down here since it's his week off. It hasn't been a bad trip thus far at all. Let's see, Friday was good with a good dinner and watching Spy Game and almost getting the third program done. I finished the program Saturday morning, leaving an two hours later than I had planned, oh well. OH yeah, Friday I somehow managed to pinch a nerve in my neck. I left work early and went to the chiropractor. My neck is still sore but feeling lots better. Yesterday after getting ot my brother's I crashed on his couch while he replaced the shocks on my car. Wow did that make a difference. Then we and my cousin who is working with him this summer went to dinner and a movie--2 Fast 2 Furious. I was actually impressed. IT was a good movie and fairly clean. It has some SWEEEEET cars and SWEEEET driving. It even had a plot. They were saying it was better than the first, which I havent seen. I have a knack for seeing the second movies before the firsts--Mission Impossible, Star Wars, X-Men, and now this.

Today we drove into Houston after talking to my sister for a bit. It feels strange to sit here, 20 years old as I have found out that both of my brothers have girlfriends.I really hope this works out for my older brother who is nine years older than me. He seems to be very interested in her. Another cousin who lives in Florida is here visiting with here two girls and twin boys. The realization hit me that she isn't but six or seven years older than me. She was pregnant and married at 19 I think. And of course my uncles and aunts and cousins and grandpa ask the unavoidable question as to whether or not I have a boyfriend(s). I'm sure many of you have read Sam's blog and his ideas about myself and Scholl. If Scholl and I are dating, than we have been the last to know this. No, we are not dating. It's the summer and there aren't a lot of people around so we tend to spend a lot of time with each other and friends.

Anyways, I guess that's an update for the weekend. I'll let ya'll know what the doctor says after I get back into Longview tomorrow. I miss ya'll and I'm glad that June is almost over. I'm ready for a new month. Wow, halfway through 2003. I still have a feeling that there is something in store for me this fall, Could be anything. I guess we'll find out when it happens. For now, I've been and will continue to enjoy the summer. and data structures is almost over. . . .

       <"Learning Teacher"> 7:07 PM 

 

   i whoa! i didn't lose the post that disappeared when i tried to publish. yay!

anyways. quizilla is fun.

-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which
means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're
the kind of chick that can hang out with your
boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't
care about presents or about going to fancy
placed. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy
being around your boyfriend.


What Kind of Girlfriend Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

yeah. . .i'm procrastinating from that program. . .


You are Trinity, from "The Matrix."
Strong, beautiful- you epitomize the ultimate
heroine.


What Matrix Persona Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

twas a normal long day. i'm becoming dependent on sugar though for energy come afternoon. caffeine makes me hyper and sleep hard, but sugar keeps me going without falling asleep.

oh yeah. i watched a frog dissection today and it was really cool. happened to be frog with eggs.

and it seems like a lot of people have been having rough spots in this week. as the rain continues and there seems to be a bug going around me. eh, se la vi. ok. i'm going to let my brain chill out for a little bit before starting that program.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 6:22 PM 

 

   so i was aiming to be in bed by midnight. . .hey, blogger has updated my settings stuff. i think i like the new stuff better. anyways. i hope i haven't lost my archives though. :-/

today was a better day. went to work. worked the camps in the afternoon and it was fun to work with the kids again although we had a counselor/director crisis right at the beginning of camp. just be praying for them, especially the director. the camp is "Junior Frankenstein" so they do dissections and learn about stuff like anatomy. some of those kids wow me with their intelligence at such a young age. and than there are those that just don't listen. but the good ones make it worth it. it's a balance.

twas a good evening and i even got some more programming stuff done. . .first with scholl's help and than later on trying to some more done on my own although scholl will be back over to help me work out the bugs in that. at least i'm getting better with the debugger and tracking down where the problems exist. just a few more weeks. . . .

and going through other's blogs and talking with friends. . .i can sense that a lot of people tend to be going through a point of gratitude for the blessings God has given us in our friends. :-) I hope that I am able to avoid ever taking my friends for granted.

check out the blogs of people, even those not on my list but are linked from people on my list. there are some great thoughts out there, like katy with her thoughts on memories, photography.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 1:16 AM 

 

   I forgot to mention one another thing from last night. Scholl was being nice and so being me far too much nicer and having a guilt trip, I returned the Mace of Justice which had been in my possession for the last two and a half weeks. I didn't even hit him with it. Sigh. Oh well, I'll always have my memories of the Judge.

and wow. I just had to edit this post after looking at my blog and noticing one mistake. Only to come back and find a few crazy others. I need more sleep.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 11:42 AM 

 

   wowzers of a day

twas a rough day that just ended with an exceptionally bright spot of talking to one of my favorite girls, Jenny, on the phone. Started the morning off in normal working mode. went to my camp job but had to leave early for eye appointment at 330. Well as I was walking back across campus from Glaske to our apartment, it started to rain. I grabbed my keys and wallet and checkbook and started to drive towards the eye doctor, running a little close on time. But it started to rain harder and the road--curvy and slope-odd that they are, were slick. I fishtailed on one curve and than my brakes locked up on my at a stoplight and i slid into a curve. My hands were shaking through half of my appointment. Lesson learned, downshifting adds more traction--better safe than sorry on slick roads around here. So i went through the routine eye appointment and had to do the whole stuff with the doctor dilating my eyes. I forgot how bad that can be. After sitting there a half hour waiting for the drops to take full effect, I started to notice the extra brightness of things and the blurriness. I wasn't doing too well and he finally came in and turned off the lights only to shine the bright bright light in my eyes. and than it was all over and everything is good. I managed to write a check and pay the bill and put on the silly but necessary shades to drive back. it was bright and sunny and dry so i figured I could manage. if it had been raining, i would have called someone. I stopped on the way back and got a snowcone and have an uneventful drive back other than the blurry street signs. I came into the apartment and turned off as many lights as I could and than made dinner for Amanda, Scholl and I. Enjoyed that much and than it was off to Bible Study at C^2 leader's new house. had one missing step in the directions and finally stopped at a gas station and asked for help at which they pointed me to a map. Scholl of course let me do the asking and finding since it was my car, I was driving, and he's a guy. we make our way and have a good time and I decided that I had better be productive and do some programming. i was blocked in from behind and on one side in my car but we figured i could still get out and back up into the yard like a good Texan. well I forgot how bad my turning radius is and I was trying to focus on not hitting the car next to me and backed my bumper into the headlight of one of the other girl's Honda. she looked ready to cry because she has a nice car. I just really wanted to get away and felt horrible. THis was the first time I had done damage to someone else's car. I told her to tell me how much it costs and she left and than I left. Scholl knew that teasing me would not be a good thing to do. I was thoroughly bummed enough not to take on programming so I made coffee and we talked on the porch. and than I came back and Jenny called. But through random spots in the day I remembered that today (or rather yesterday now) was the Third Tuesday in June. and I remembered that there was another bad third Tuesday in June in my life which i talked about and than removed my post on a few weeks ago.

However, I am now feeling much better. Coffee and good conversation with friends helps a lot when I am feeling pretty down. So I thank God that I didn't do any serious damage and that the day really wasn't all that bad and that there are still good spots in it that he blessed me with. My eyes are fine and I have a prescription for new glasses. and tomorrow, or I guess today, is another day.

I said I would try and be in bed by now, but talking to Jenny made it worth it. so goodnight all and get well wishes to my ill friends (sam and lisl both) out there. and hugs to everyone else. ya'll are in my prayers and I miss ya.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:49 AM 

 

   Guess What! I'm a bad influence! Yup! Bad enough to bring out the niceness in the Cynic. Don't worry though, he still has great amusement from his sadistic self in teasing on my like my siblings used to do. The whole reason I hid in my room and read lots and lots of books :-) It's looking to be a halfway decent week. which is good as I Look to the coming weekend and another trip to Houston and the doctor. At least I can get some reading done while we sit in the doctor's office and wait.

The Rangers/Astros game wasn't terrible. . .but more amusement came out of Cynic and the pennies. I had a good conversation with my lily too whom I miss greatly. as greatly as all you other folk out there who aren't here. The sunshine seems to have come out for the summer, hopefully to stay although if the rain keeps things this awesome temperature that's fine with me too. Besides, it's fun to play in the rain! Especially around the berm, so I've been told. ;-)

Lots of thoughts have been floating around in my head these days. Hard to really put down here though. just some ideas for the floor being one of the chaplains and stuff regarding people--styles and methods of madness, pet peeves and such. I don't have the greatest attitude towards certain persons. and just the strange feelings of the future and dreams and wishes getting so close. . . Well, I should get some sleep so I don't end up crashing before dinner again.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:56 AM 

 

   a good saturday in which i was productive, including finding my paycheck, doing laundry and getting two chapter of data strux done.

i also enjoyed a game of Risk in which I played badly and lost early on but enjoyed watching the rest of the game. and I continue to enjoy hearing from people and reading comments after my wonderful opportunity to wench the judge. tomorrow i go to a Rangers game. . .been a really long time since I've seen a baseball game. In fact, I think the last time was the Rangers with LU people back when my dad worked hear and I was probably half the height I am now if not still smaller. :-)

I'm sorry I missed some of ya'll on IM tonight. I keep forgetting to put away messages up. and invariably I always come in and have missed talking to some of my favorite but far away people.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 1:23 AM 

 

   wow life stays busy! coffee cart work was pretty good, and scholl earned himself some coffee/chai for next semester by taking orders for me while i kept the machine going. the edgers seem to be a pretty cool group of kids. I have a lot of hope for this new batch of fish coming in :-) Chesteron is getting more and more interesting--such as his philosophy on drinking. Drinking if for leisure, a happy activity I guess you could say and not for medicine or when one is down.

I ended up taking the afternoon off and sleeping. . .I think the dust/chemicals/mildew in the coffee cart fridge have gotten to me as I slowly get congested. oh well. . .IT"S THE WEEKEND! Life still has its frustrations. . .but I don't feel like ranting right now.

Oh, tonight's experience was Chuck E. Cheese's. Literally a once in a lifetime experience. . .if ever in a lifetime. It wasn't all that bad. . .great for kids who are easily amused. Okay, so I stayed amused but the games got old pretty quick. I had fun .. . especially with the company :-) I can't say it was worth the cost. I've had better pizza for cheaper and more fun with games too. I can't complain though. . . .It was off campus. anyways. I'm exhausted yet again and can't remember the interesting thoughts I had to share from the last few days right now. maybe I'll remember later.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 1:30 AM 

 

   So my project of vengeance has been completed and will now begin to make the rounds among various folk. :-D That'll remain to be one of my better ideas and well carried out bits yet. Honestly, Im exhausted after the last couple of days. Moving and cleaning the last three days, whew! and my bad knee is starting to remind me that it doesn't like as much stress as i've probly been putting on it. . . freaking moving and lifting with the knees. . .eh, no worries really.

i also like cleaning with PhysPlant because it gives me lots of good thinking time. I wish I could say that it was more God time but unfortuantely no. When the vacuum cleaner or another noisy things aren't running it also makes for good conversation with the girls and helps time go faster and slows the working a little bit. Things are easing up now that I have a test out of the way for Data Structures and somehow Scholl helped to pull off another 100 on that program. . . .I guess he may not test those with as weird info as he can get like I like to do.

Tomorrow I get to work the coffee cart! I also get to play Edge RA on ELH 1, to quote the head honcho--"fornication patrol." I think this will also be the weekend to go to the Rangers game. Well, my eyelids are fluttering and another day of work starts bright and early. . . .Enjoy hearing from ya'll! So leave a comment if enetation is working or email me or leave me IM messages. Ya know how to reach me.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:18 AM 

 

   mmm. it was a really good evening, actually, it hasn't been a bad couple of days. lounged tonight with friends, enjoying my new camp chair. i think i'll be spending many an evening on the porch in that thing with a book. The current book of choice is Heretics by Chesterton. I could post lots of good bits and pieces from that. I also got some pictures tonight that I am sure many of you will see and hear about fairly soon.

we're getting settled in at the apartment. I love being in a real kitchen with my stuff organized throiughout. Cooked dinner tonight. Remembered how therapeutic cooking is considering I was pretty ticked off at the summer camp director for not scheduling me part time this week while scheduling another person full time. Oh well. I really kind of enjoy the manual labor at Physical Plant and the ladies are fun. I've also gained some good bruises and such. It makes me feel strong.and I don't have to trek across campus anymore .

It's funny how some of my dreams of the future are becoming a little more concrete, a little more specific. Not everything as of yet but enough to give me some smiles.

I'm really really tired. I have lots more I want to say, but I don't think I'd really say it here. but to close, wishes on you from 1 Thessalonians 3:11-13 (from blueletterbible.org)

Now God himself and our Father, and our Lord Jesus Christ, direct our way unto you. And the Lord make you to increase and abound in love one toward another, and toward all [men], even as we [do] toward you: To the end he may stablish your hearts unblameable in holiness before God, even our Father, at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ with all his saints.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 11:43 PM 

 

   I'm now sitting in my new room in a pretty spiffy apartment (except for the hot water) trying to get used to my new desk set up. I'm very tempted to move down my senior year. have to admit it's weird being a very short ways from scholl and gecko. i can see from our living room window into theirs.

another program done with data structures. scholl saved me on that one. it required more than my 3 brain cells.

and yeah, the only thing i don't like about this apartment is that i couldn't get any hot water in the shower. . .although it's fine from the sink. and the shower head is a foot too low for my six feet. oh well. there are worse things to deal with. like fire alarms and i.d. security locks.

tomorrow will hopefully be a day for chilling out. hopefully reading out in the sunshine or something.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 2:24 AM 

 

   I feel like procrastinating my program for Data Structures just a little bit longer. I'm halfway moved down to the apartments after the help of John Bear with Hands and Truck. I need to go down there and clear the living room out of my stuff sometime soon. It's gorgeous outside, but alas too much to do I think. Maybe it'll be nice tomorrow!

I'm disappointed that I'm not going to get to work with kids next week, but oh well--at least I can work full time with phys plant when not scheduled into the camps. 8 weeks until I'll be moved into my own room in ELH it seems. What do these 8 weeks hold? I guess we'll find out. I think some suprises yet await me. But than life is like that. . . .So today is the halfway mark until my 21st birthday. I happened to look at my watch last night at the exact time. It scares me how much I am a numbers persons sometimes :-) hmm, what else could i mark out in a timeframe? 51 weeks to see who wins the bet--Gecko or Scholl. Jenny asked me who I wanted to win that bet (I'm intentionally being vague on th exact details for a reason) and I'm not totally sure. I said Gecko, but in some ways--I hope it may just be Scholl. I've been informed that a slightly similar bet exists on one other step between Scholl and Wilson. It'd be fun if Scholl lost both. I don't know. It really all depends on God. I suspect that there might be other bets or more to these bets than I've been told. Oh well. It's really not my worry :-)

I really had better journey on into the world of computer programming. I'll probably get lost along the way. But I have friends who are helping me along the journey--whether by offering distractions or keeping me on the road. Don't you just love how God supplies us with people to meet our various needs---little and big? and it's awesome to note how friendships develop into something as close as family. and sometimes I feel I don't really deserve the blessings God has bestowed upon my life. When I think about my attitude towards some other persons and towards rules and such. When I think about how I willfully do what I know probably is not Christ-like. We're called to do our best and there's this bit of me that, that oh so great human nature, that has me not doing my best, not caring.

I could go on a lot farther with that. . .but I really do need to do something productive. Talk to ya'll later!

       <"Learning Teacher"> 2:54 PM 

 

   cursed be the commenting system of enetation, oh wait, it already it is. BUT PRAISE GOD for friends who are protected by his Grace in both big and little ways. David--I thank God with you that you are alive. for those of you who are facing some struggles right now, my thoughts and prayers are with you and I hope that God continues to bless you in innumerable ways.

one of my happy thoughts for the day: the heart monitor came off and gets shipped back tomorrow. My skin where the two electrodes have been stuck to will be happy, hopefully soon as I was brought back to the days of sensitive skin reacting to things it doesn't like. other happy thought: Tomorrow is Friday. and I'll get some more sleep again soon. after moving to the apartments.

i won't be working with the gremlins next week, at last as far as the schedule goes for next week. i will not work the camps again next summer if she continues to be in charge. I love working with the kids, but there are other places I can work with kids too.

I was productive tonight and got the first stage in my computer program done. Hopefully I can make lots more headway tomorrow. maybe while everyone else is moving. Life is throwing me more good moments, or at least it seems that way. Yet at the same time I'm dealing with some other things. Especially when it comes to people. but I get to hang on to some of the good moments for future days of roughness.

The summer is far from over. and I still have that sense that there are some big big things yet to happen.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:45 AM 

 

   i finished Bonhoeffer's book tonight. I was going to start Heretics, but alas, I really need to get to bed. It was a good book. . .I liked some parts, not sure what to say with others. It seemed that there were so many should do's. he had one paragraph on authority that I'd have liked to seen him expand on. Other meandering thoughts that have hit me as of late--the New Testament. I need to study the whole bit about the Canon more. Sometimes, not very often, I get these odd thoughts--like with reference to i think 1 Timothy 3:16 about Scriptures being God-breathed. Well that was written before the New Testament books were ever considered a part of Scriptures. and as I read stuff written by others since then on God and such, I make dangerous comparisons. I don't know. It's just a thought to study more.

I got to learn how to drive a cleaning machine today. . .maybe I'm demented but I thought it was fun (could just still be the fresh on the job bit). "You control the machine; don't let the machine control you." It was a Roter (?) to scrub the tile floors with. I was also fairly productive with paying a few bills and such today and getting stuff done for data strux program due on Saturday. (oh what a weekend this will be.) Oh yeah! I picked up some pictures of random things over the last few months. It was a roll I was fairly happy with and I had some pretty decent pictures come out. I have some ELH-2, Honors, and other random ones (one where Gecko looks like a different person with the goatee and glasses.) It was just another summer day really I guess.

A toast to happy thoughts and happy memories and good friends all around.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 11:25 PM 

 

   I keep remembering the random things and now i forget what they were as I finally come to post again. Oh well, i was out having fun times--had a great dinner at Butcher Shop. meat. . . . funny. I shared a deeply personal post the other night but yet I still can't come out with everything. eh, difference between past/present, individual/people, stuff. anyways.

so today was actually decent for a monday. phys plant hours went fast and it's going to be nice to have the hour and a half lunch break since i can't work til 12 otherwise i pull in overtime that the camps would have to pay. (the spiteful side of me says she'd deserve it, but. ) rocket camp is going to be much nicer, only ten kids. i even came up with a system of "red light, yellow light, green light" to let the more rambunctious kids run out their energy when they are outside and not around too many people.

grr i wish i could remember those ponderings i've been having. eh, if they're catchy, important enough I'll remember later. it's fun enough as I've had some somewhat suprising but good conversation with peoples over the last few days. oh, we're supposed to move this weekend to the apts. and three more days of heart monitor. my skin where the electrodes have been will be very happy to see them go bye bye. ok, i seriously should get some sleep. I actually am somewhat sore, but it's a good sore. we moved furniture around Tyler--talk about a weird feeling walking around empty floors. well. almost off to be now. must wake up in the early hours yet again.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:55 AM 

 

   this whole not being able to sleep until after 1, 2 am has got to stop. the fire alarms at 3 didn't help last night after I had finally fallen asleep. went to church at Grace Creek today. I liked it well enough, a lot like LCF. Would like to have the guest speaker come to LU sometime and speak some more on leadership. . .or at least ask him some questions. Unfortunately I didn't take notes and he took a lot of different directions so i can't remember everything exactly.

than i got to go flying with caleb q. and ashleah today! it was spectacular--gives a whole new perspective on this East Texas that I call home for now and grew up in. It was a smooth ride, no fun bumps--which may have been good for my first time in something smaller than that connector between CO and Phoenix some years ago. (smaller than the American Eagle plance between Dallas and Longview) I can see why pilots love it up there so much . . .I don't think I'd ever really have the determination to become a pilot but I do like being a passenger up there. I discovered that I actually enjoy heights. good, I'm finally getting sleepy.

and it was a decent night with good food and just hanging out with people. and slacking off from this next data strux program. i know the pieces, or at least the ideas, just have trouble putting them together. but I'll learn.

It was definitely a better day to contrast with the last night. I'm still worn out though and this isn't a good way to start a full time work week. God's strength will see me through as it always has though. i have some interesting thoughts regarding what I've been reading with Bonhoeffer, but I really do have to go to bed now. Hopefully I'll get back to this tomorrow--I'm sure I will. God bless ya my friends, those who are here dealing with fire alarms too and those who are off doing other things and are missed greatly. I'm blessed to know ya'll and have you in my life, all of you.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 1:23 AM 

 

   It was another good night. Enjoyed some Bodacious. Chilling with a frisbee. I'm not great but it is fun. and only five more days till the heart monitor comes off!

Than I watched a little bit of When Harry Met Sally, but felt a need to wander. Came back and ran into Stu and Gecko and we went to Kidsview, picking up Amanda on the way. That is one very cool place. there will definitely be a plan for a floor devo out there.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:29 AM 

 

   Lesson learned from shaving:
(I know, it's crazy, I can draw philosophical ponderings from the weirdest things)

Sometimes the smallest nicks can cause a lot of blood if not taken care of quickly with some first aid.

How true that can be with relationships too. None of this is relative to anything in my life right now, it was just a though I had while cleaning up a nick or two after shaving in the shower. But I know that in my past, especially with siblings, that sometimes the littlest insults can be left to cause long-term festering and then take longer healing time when they do get taken care of.

Weird. . .the temp just went from 84 to 69, oh waith, now it reads 86.

I had a pretty good evening last time after bumming around trying to decide what to do, we got coffee and watched Drop Dead Gorgeous. Than we bummed around some more until about 230 in the morning. Twas lots of fun really and good to relax. It's really quiet in our suite this weekend now with Lisl gone this morning and Lindsay gone yesterday. And we wait to find out what is happening with this whole moving on short notice garbage. I will enjoy living in an apartment but I don't like all the communication issues and disorganization that are causing problems all around. So goes life, but still.

It's nice to be in a relatively stable state of mind again too. I was getting restless the last couple of days. Had to reenact what looks to be a lifetime solution to such restlessness--repeating "Trust God, Trust in Him" every time something begins to bother me.

ooh, email. ah, some forward from my grandpa. I'll check it out in a little bit. i'm going to be productive now after seeing if anyone has updated their blogs. Until later.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 5:07 PM 

 

   Well I've become the final member of my suite to join the Phys Plant staff for the summer. I'll be working mornings part time and joining all who must be at work at the ungodly hour of 7. But because of hour issues, I'll only be working until 11 so that I'm not technically working overtime with my camp job where I work 1 to 5. Please be praying for me as I'll have to motivate myself into going to bed at a decent hour (although I might be tired enough and it won't be a problem!) and that I don't end up "overdoing" it on my health. I'm trusting God here to get me through. This will probably change my two free weeks of August to something else too now. We'll see.

Maybe this wil put an end to some of the freaky dreams I've been having in the mornings. They have a nightmarish touch, at least a touch to give me the creeps upon waking up and deciding that being awake is better than being asleep.Today I had one that was a continuation of the one yesterday and in these dreams I dream that I'm dreaming. Well, I'll talk to ya'll later.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:09 PM 

 

   Hey all!

Wow. I am reminded yet again of why I'm not created to teach a in a middle school classroom. It takes a special person. I have to admit though, they're still lovable but. . .

In other words, it was a really long day, afternoon I should say. and i got two more bills in my cpo versus a check from my bank in CO after closing checking account there and using one here. I'm grateful that these medical expenses aren't on my credit card and that they're all pretty willing to let me pay in small chunks--but they keep coming. I keep having to tell myself "Trust God, Trust God, Trust God". THis on top of having what looks to be a part time job with the camps versus ful time. This all makes me feel so old--in addition to going to the doctor where the majority of the other patients are older.

There are too many kids in that camp. 26. and they run across the extreme from tends not to get noticed quiet child to get to know their name really quick annoying but loveable pests. and i feel like so much of my voice time with them is spent trying to keep them on track and safe (like today they were cutting wood. . . .we probly need to check our mini first aid kit to see if we need any more bandages and stuff!) I don't know if I could handle this job full time. . .not I but God' strength. assuming I was working full time. so i won't be lazy tomorrow morning and i'll see what i can get at phys plant. wish i could open Common Grounds up--that we had a customer base to do so. although i wonder with these camps. . . i don't know.

ever want to say something but just feel it isn't right to say it? like it isn't the right time? or it's just too mean? or it's too personal? or anything? that's me right now.

yet life is still good.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 11:43 PM 

 

   i like the new blogger format for posting and stuff better. Hopefully those changes will be applied here soon. if not, oh well. anyways. another long day in which i slept til 11:40 and stayed tired really all day. work was work. and had a delightful evening after meeting cara and brenton and than that leading into going and having ice cream with them and her dad :-) it was a little celebration. marble slab is great. than i came back and didn't feel like going back up yet so i subjected myself to scholl's teasing about the whole so-called education major= MRS degree.

In seriousness, just because this is one of my pet peeves, I'm here for an education and because this is where God wanted me. Yes I will admit that I entertain hope that God might bring a special someone, that special one, into my life here--but he may or may not be an LU person. I don't know that. Maybe the odds are good, but I've been known to defy odds and anything is possible with God. Being here is about being where I belong and I am seeking after a degree--a piece of paper, papers really that say I can teach and that I have a quantifiable amount of knowledge in the field of math and such. I'm also here because it felt right to be here. Doesn't feel quite that way all the time anymore but amongst the hearts of my friends is where it's strongest. I've made my mistakes in the past and have learned from them.

I'm really really tired still and I'm in a very weird mood--kind of a goofy sleepy mood. Hard to describe. Anyways, I really should sleep now. No worries, I'm not really bothered by anything even if it gets perceived as so in above paragraph. I have a tendency to have things I say twisted or misunderstood. Not a good thing but oh well. This online journal stuff can be dangerous--I'm going before I'll say something I'll really regret later. for example i just mentioned a song that's running through my head right now but i decided to delete it because the reason it's running through my head and comparison could be carried a whole lot farther than I intended.

gnite.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:42 AM 

 

   ok. it's been a really long day. Yesterday was spectacular. After grueling over that program Saturday, for which I earned a 100 (Varnell is so easy!). I went to church where a guy from Mercy Ships spoke. I was glad because that is something I could be interested in in the future. I've still in a dreaming/reflective mode. But more on that later. I spent a lazy afternoon finishing Pilgrim's--of which I can definitely say I like the second part better. First part is good, but second seems to flow a little more maybe. Then I had a delightful evening full of conversation, good food, and a wonderful walk. It's the kind of evening I love having and have missed. I lost track of the time and went to bed a little later than planned. Than today.

It started with the email over the weekend about showing up Monday morning at 730 and than finding out whether or not I had been assigned to a camp as a counselor. So I showed up. And basically did nothing except for one or two real quick helping out kind of things. Than we cleaned for half hour, hour over in Mabee but got that done really fast because there were twenty of us with nothing to do. She hired forty-two camp counselors for about eleven camps per week. probly half are part time and the rest are wanting full time. A huge chunk are people who are off-campus, like a lot who aren't even students here. We spent the latter half of the morning waiting for pizza and getting scheduled to work the afternoon. After the pizza never showed and grabbing a fast fast bite to eat, I went to assist as a counselor in Jr Engineers. It really was actually fun and I enjoyed the work. The kids stay busy building things and we pass out materials and help them with some of the harder stuff. (I get to saw wood :-D) Some of the counselors are really cool. Some of the others---strike a nerve. and I probably strike a nerve with some of them too, begin a natural take charge kind of person.

I guess it all strikes at me too because my parents, if I tell them about it, will push harder on me to come back and work for them. I don't think I'm going to tell them a whole lot.

I had a good evening though. I took a nice shower and than chilled for a little bit reading blogs and going to some fun, screwy, and twisted links. (note earlier.) Than i got back after a good burger and brownie and time of hanging out (and saying something that got twisted much further than I intended. *sigh*) Anyways, and after enjoying the last half of Golden Girls and reflecting on my female fellowship here, ran into Cara. We talked and took a walk around campus. Wandered over where all the construction is going on and just really felt glad and sad--sad at the changes and glad that we won't be around when the master plan becomes actuality. and now i sit here writing and playing "I run" by Forty Days for Lindsay and remember. Remember who and where I should take these kinds of days first, and How i have to Trust on HIM, knowing he's in control and he has my summer laid out.

The last couple of days have been good as they have revived some dreams I have, even given one or two them a slight more push or kind of clearer I guess, more real and more desire. Some of my dreams are like these little treasures that I don't want a lot of people to know--unless they are dreamers like me who understand, well, it's like I want to keep to myself yet I want to share because I feel like I'm overflowing and I just have share these fabulous things with someone. That's why I keep my journal around, the one that only I read. I haven't actually written anything by hand in it in awhile though because I have discovered that I can type my thoughts faster than I can write by hand. I can get more down by typing. Well, I want to save some time for reading before sleeping so I must be off to other things now.

God bless ya'll!

       <"Learning Teacher"> 12:00 AM 

 

   

"It is the chiefest point of happiness that a man is willing to be what he is."

You are Desiderius Erasmus! You have great love for others and will do just about anything to show it to them. You are tolerant and avoid confrontations, so people generally are drawn to you. You are more quiet and reserved in front of strangers, but around some people you open up. When things get tough, you like to meditate alone. Unfortunately you often get things like "what a pansy," or "you're such a liberal."

What theologian are you?

A creation of Henderson

that was fun! there are some more fun links on cynics and ethicist's pages. I don't have time to post write now (eh, I'll leave the misspelling), because I got lost in conversation last night and lost track of time.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 6:41 PM 

 

   I have to fix this resolution thing quickly. I don't like such big type. This will probably be quick as I need to get some sleep so I can be alert during church. It was a rather uneventful day other than being frustrated and than happy to get my program working after getting the help of a friend. Everyone else who has done a good job helping and explaining things to me with programs in that past haven't been online or are gone. I also had a good discussoin with a friend, one is isn't coming back and I will miss dearly.

Thought I had earlier: Sometimes taking the easy route makes things harder in the long run, the future. I guess that really isn't profound, but it just struck me somehow. and I just had the unpleasant thought of relating that to procrastination. . . .And sometimes there are more important things to take care of in the immediate time and put off things that really aren't so important that need more concern in the distant future. Sometimes, Sometimes.

I enjoyed a fabulous couple of hours in the sunshine. I love ninety-plus degree weather. I don't usually hate heat until it's over 104. and it hasn't been too humid either. I read book. I started the second part of Progress and actually like it more. Anyways, I guess this wasn't that short. Goodnight all.

       <"Learning Teacher"> 1:46 AM